A relaxing shower... Is it too much to ask for?

Ridiculous!! I can never get a shower in time without precise planning!

Yesterday was like a day in the life of a mad momma of 4 ready to be sectioned for her own sanity.
I was expecting Curly for a cuppas tea this morning, so came home after the school run and did all the usual morning momma stuff while I waited... I fed Doodlebean her breakfast & danced around the kitchen like a knob, to amuse her in her high chair whilst I cleaned and dealt with the washing bomb that had been abandoned after I ran out of time yesterday. I then amused Doodlebean with the circle of neglect (AKA the jumperoo) whilst I ironed & swapped half dry washing from my living room laundry to the tumble drier out in the Arctic abyss of a garage. Felt a sense of achievement when I hoovered my lounge after changing the third crappy nappy of the morning (think the first two must have been like broken off cork bits... The final one was well cooked and stunk like sprouts).

Curly then text to say that she had way too much to do, couldn't come over & did I want to pop to her house instead? Initial thought- what? and watch you do all your jobs while I stress about not doing mine still left over from yesterday? aargh... Then decided after a while, actually yeah I could kill two birds with one stone here... Squeeze in Doodlebean's nap & a run over Chasewater!

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Started to run the first 3 minutes, because I'm now on wk4 D3, and it quickly became apparent that my new running music was shit... I just couldn't run at that stupid pace, so then my breathing went to shit too and on top of that I was pushing a 3 stone pram along the entrance of Chasewater where you have to weave in and out to dodge the dog shit mines. Why do people think it's OK to not clean up their dog's mess, just because it's Chasewater? Yeah I know no-one cleans up after the other animals that live there, but you don't see wild animal stoop and shit in the middle of the path do you aaarghhhhhhhh!


Had to pause C25k while I changed the music back to the Foos, so I think that affected the rest of my run then. I just couldn't seem to get my breathing and pace right and running across the grass to get to the bridge to Brownhills with the pram was a killer. A lovely old man smiled & moved out of the way for me with his dog and commented on what a fantastic idea it was to do two things at once. I asked him if he fancied swapping, but he didn't seem keen. Funny how we often wonder what other people are thinking isn't it...   I'm pretty sure he would have thought I was just some crazy momma late for my bus if I wasn't in running gear, but as I was I figured he was probably laughing to himself thinking 'and you call that running?'.  I nearly broke my neck skidding in the mud, then basically ended up running what I could and catching my breath in between.

RAN 3.56 KM ON 06/02/2017

DISTANCE

3.56km

STEPS

5731

DURATION 

36:35

AVG PACE

10:16

KCAL

199

I really stunk and looked like a beetroot by the time I got to Curly's. I had run 3.56k in 36mins so I didn't do too badly I suppose, considering. In all, I think my run was actually a bit like some sick form of torture for leaving it until I'm 40 to suddenly get round to being fit. Literally had time for a cuppa, then it was time to set off for the school run.

Got to school to fetch Willis, looking and smelling delightful after a rather swampy walk back, with mud all over my trainers and all up the back of my leggings. Actually spoke to 2 people on the playground which is rare- I felt minging but kept smiling, whilst in my head I was planning my first opportunity for a shower... Karate night... Means tea must be done straight away...then shower.

I quickly changed and washed my face & figured pizza was the quickest option for tea. I think I must have exited my body temporarily or had some sort of vacant moment or something, because somehow it was 5:45pm by the time we had all finished eating the 10 minute pizzas. No way I could have a quality shower and make sure the boys were dressed in their karate kits ready to leave for 6:15pm. Willis would still be dancing round in his kegs like last week, so I put off the shower until we get home after karate.
Boys were brilliant at karate and they got straight into their pjs when we got home. Willis read his school book to me & I read a bit more of James & the Giant Peach with him & Doodlebean before bed. I blinked and Claude was in the shower ggrrr. Dave came home from work and we talked about the plan of action for Thursday, decide it's going to be easier to book an overnight stay in Southampton for the first wedding of 2017. I then spend a good hour trying to be a megga tight arse  to book a half decent room at the inn, that costs less than £100 for a midweek room wtf?. I finally book a room and the whole house is silent as everyone else is in bed. I creep upstairs and Doodlbean is threatening to wake up, so I then have to Ninja shower at speed with the door ajar just in case she wakes up along with everyone else in the house.

I am also still clammed, is it wrong to raid the kitchen cupboards at 1am? At least I can no longer smell myself and the house is silent - why am I still awake you say? 5 minutes peace from them lot as Mrs Large says.
On the plus side, my fitbit agrees I have been a super busy momma- I got the most amount of steps I have ever got in a day and burned a ridiculous amount of calories, so yes I am going to raid my cupboards for a midnight feast for one mmmm.

Pahfartes class was successful

I decided when I got up this morning and looked out at the foolish builders working on my neighbours extension, that it looked way too cold to go for a run. I pictured myself slipping on ice and dangly ice bogeys hanging from my nose, as my nose always seems to run along with me.

This decision was also fuelled by the fear that my next run involves running for a whole 3 minutes and I know that it will definitely almost kill me. I actually hit my personal best time on Tuesday so felt very pleased with myself.
Did I tell you that I ran a different route, along the canal last time, listening to Foo Fighters?  Well I think that is what nearly killed me. I was looking on t'interweb for motivating running music last night... and apparently I need jogging music that is about 153 beats per minute for a good jogging pace. It appears 'Something from Nothing' is 187 beats per minute - No wonder it was hard. My perfect running Foo tunes look like 'Everlong, Breakout, Free me, Generator, DOA and Congregation'. May have to try this out tomorrow.

   

I figured I ought to go and do the dreaded shopping today, as we had run out of milk and I don't think I could produce anything else out of the ingredients in my kitchen cupboards that would be nutritionally acceptable as a meal. I know I shouldn't go shopping when I'm hungry, so this made shopping more of a challenge as I was absolutely clammed. I seem to be constantly starving just lately. I mostly bought what I intended and I haven't totally starved everyone of chocolate this week. Got to the till and just as I paid, I got a text from Dave telling me we need chuffin tea bags. The lady on the till must have seen my frustration or felt my pain and went to fetch me some, so that I didn't have to leave Doodlebean in the trolley by the till. What a lovely lady... she made my day she did.
I can of course forgive Dave as he had cooked our bacon and egg butties for breakfast, even though he told me afterwards that he had given me the wrinkly bollock egg.

He then cooked tea while me and Willis met up with a friend from work for a quick cheeky Costa after dropping Claude off. I had just enough time to cram my tea down my neck hole and get changed before heading off for the free taster session of pilates.

I actually did better than I thought I would, I didn't die and I didn't struggle too much - unlike when I tried my youtube pilates session a few weeks ago. I have however decided it should be call 'pahfartes'  rather than pilates though, as so many of the moves just made my tea gurgle with an over whelming need to blow from my exercise blow hole like a steam train.

I now have to somehow try and fit in a date with Dave before January is out- Do you think it counts if I take him to Mozza's for a full English breakfast?

changing privacy settings before work

First keep in touch day at work went ok, useful & interesting training so my brain has worked hard to stay focused all day. 

It was one of those days that I could have easily been caught out quickly if I had glazed over. Lunch was buffet style, but I was that clammed from my new runner uber fast metabolism that I could quite frankly have eaten a scabby donkey, complete with its hooves. There were no other food alternatives and I am on a mission to eat 3 meals a day. I therefore had to make myself eat the buffet food, by being mindful of the pieces at the bottom that had so far remained untouched by other people's fingers (cue OCD inner panic of issues with other people' hygiene- AKA shit samples in the ice machine and pee samples in the bar peanuts aaarggghh). 

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My organisation was a bit shit tonight, I totally missed the opportunity to go for my planned run. My choice for tea was met with a lemon lips response, even though I stopped off for extra bits on my way home. I have food going damp in the garage as I tried to store them in the cool arctic conditions over Christmas. I have a feckin massive pile of shit still waiting to go up the loft, which waves at me each night as I tuck the boys into bed. I have felt proper stressed tonight, wondering how the hell I am going to fit everything in when I am back to work full time. I had managed to get home for 4pm, but we still ended up rushing to get tea done in time to get the boys to karate for 6:30pm. I did enjoy watching my boys sparring though tonight, they're both getting very good and Dudestar is looking forward to entering his first competition in March. 

This is my half an hour peace at the end of the day. I haven't read with my boys or played with Doodlebean for longer than 5 minutes, but that's what happens when your children have week day hobbies I suppose. It is a lot better than them playing on technological gadgets all night too.

I will also need to change my blog to invitation only I think, due to returning to work. I know I'm a bit of a dufus, but if you have enjoyed sharing my journey and reading my blogs or you find yourself in the same boat, then please 'like' my page before I change the settings. My intention was to show that many of us have the same daily battles and that social media is supportive and motivating as well as being a platform for 'perfect people with their perfect lives'.

Making funny noises while running

Yesterday's run was hard, didn't realise I could make noises like that when I'm running.
Dave is very supportive of me going running and while he is off work he has been having Doodlebean so that I can just get on with it when I fancy, which has been very helpful of course. Decided the other day that I was going to head out for a run with Claude first thing, with the intention of running again later on today to get some miles in... However the mood in our house was verging on the edge of hormonal meltdown. Manstruation mixed with PMT is a bit like the Bruce Willis film Die Hard 3 . You know the one where they plant the bomb in the school and if the two substances mix, then it has fatal consequences.

I figured as it was a nice kind of day, that we would head off with the intention of a longer run instead. I couldn't hear the app through my new earphones properly, so had to keep faffing about with my phone which was a pain. I have to say, that extra 30 seconds of running is a killer. This time I was heavily breathing, relying on that extra blow hole to keep me going... speaking of blow holes, it's funny how running seems to produce more air lol.

We got to the bottom part of Chasewater, by the railway station where you have to go through that cattle gate and as we approached the app told us to start running. I could see a middle aged couple with a little lad on his bike. They were just putting his bike through the gate (whilst we were jogging on the spot) and before the lady could begin dragging her bike through, I smiled and said excuse me and we squeezed though the gate. But then she made my heart beat even faster, making it harder to breathe as she made some remark about being patient. So I casually remarked back to say I was being patient... I feel proud that I managed to bite my tongue instead of opening my mouth in front of the little lad and a whole lot of,  'Oh go and $*&% off, you saw us coming and wanted to be awkward, you ignorant pooface' pouring out of my mouth. Surely, it's a bit like when you're shopping at Aldi and you have a full family shop to load onto the conveyor belt, you let the person with 3 items go in front- well I do anyways.
We thought as we were half way around Chasewater, we'd carry on running and see if we could run at the same pace round to the entrance. My god was it hard. I was breathing so heavily I was making some strange breathing, dying sounds. As we reached the visitor centre, I could see the even steeper mofo hill in front and made myself run up it - I literally had nothing left by the time I reached the top, I could feel my lungs and face burning and had to really sum up some extra determination to run the last bit, 1 run and 1 walk left until the cool down. The walk home was nice and relaxed though, with a sense of satisfaction.
I have my first keep in touch day at work tomorrow, which is a little prep for starting back next month. It make me feel kind of nervous and kind of sad at the same time, it's like the count down timer has started booohoo.

torch was as useful as a chocolate tea pot

Was epic trying to get Claude to the dentist this morning. I was organised enough to set off with enough time, but the traffic on the Chester Rd was ridiculous. Thought I'd do the good thing and ring them to let them know (so that I'd avoid ranting in their reception and save myself the last part of the journey if needs be). Thankfully the receptionist gave us 10 minutes extra grace. Claude was so looking forward to this appointment to have her teeth filed-Not. She looked so emotional when she came out, as the dentist has said that next time they will be taking her braces off. Could have cried for her too, I'm so glad the braces have worked and she didn't need to have her jaw reset. Her teeth are going to look amazing in time for her end of year prom.

When we got home, I thought I'd try making a smoothie with the kale etc I bought the other day. It seems a bit odd putting leaves in a drink, but it's supposed to be really healthy. I put everything in the blender, it smelled & looked a bit like thick vomit... I'm pleased to say the smoothie tasted ok, no after taste but an odd drink texture.

Has been a lovely day since we got home. The best part of being on maternity leave is watching Doodlebean learn new things. Today we were playing with her toys on the floor and I built her a tower to knock down that was just out of her reach. She was trying so hard to reach it, she perched like a little frog, balancing just like she was ready to crawl off any second. I'm hoping she starts crawling & walking before I go back to work else I will miss it, that makes my heart sad. I have a keep in touch day at work on Monday, then back from 27th Feb.

After school I sat down at the table with Willis to do a couple of pages of his little workbooks as we like learning together and he is awesome at his maths. Dudestar on the other hand was as determined as ever to avoid his homework at all costs. This almost caused a serious knock on effect with Willis prompting me to lose my shit. Of course I then had to apologise for getting cross & explain in a more reasonable tone why he needed to stop being a miserable turd. Willis doesn't have homework anymore apparently, but he enjoys learning new things and I don't want him to lose his thirst for knowledge too soon and believe that all homework is shit & boring - secondary school does that to our kids grrrr

Cakey came over before tea, ready to go running. Thought I'd take one of our head torches as it was  flippin dark over Chasewater last time & I really didn't fancy slipping in a turd or stepping into a puddle (Vicar of Dibley style). The torch not only made me look like a total dumb ass, but it was literally as useful as a chocolate tea pot. It was used briefly to avoid the speed humps at Chasewater, then promptly tucked away in my pocket. We ran into the entrance of Chasewater, but it was really scary and dark, thankfully after a minute the app said we were halfway so we started the run back home. It's funny how motivated running makes you feel. I need to get Dave into running, only then will he understand why we feel the need to do a 5k fun run in Manchester lol.

Perfect end to the day, shower in peace pamper moment followed by a cheeky bud or two. Might get my car washed tomorrow?
Which language shall I learn?

The same traits as Mr Bean?

Yesterday was a bit shit really, I felt fed up so wasn't in the best mood for writing my blog for all to read. I had written and sent my letter to confirm going back to work after my maternity leave, so think it was probably the sudden realisation that I have less than 6 weeks of maternity leave left.

After finally mustering some motivation, I went shopping with my uber money saver tight arse head on and managed to spend £30 less than usual. Now we don't have the temptation of eating any junk food as I didn't buy any. I still have some hidden Christmas choccies left ssshhh, whilst everyone else has demolished theirs while they verged on the edge of choccy chunder at Christmas, so I may be about to cause a choccy zombie apocalypse in the next few days.

On my tight arse mission, I also rang the energy company I was with to get my money back.  After switching providers in November they still hadn't sent a closing bill etc. The best way I could sum up the conversation is that lady I spoke to was a lot like a sloth. Why they can't send out a cheque as part of the switching process is beyond me. I felt like tapping down the phone to check she was still alive. Eventually found that they owe us over £200 which they caused through hiking up our direct debit in preparation for me to warm my house to that of tropical climates through the winter. I now apparently have to wait up to 21 days for a cheque, because they obviously aren't up to date with bank transfers- I mean, who actually uses cheques and goes into their bank eh? It took me 18 months to change my bank account into my married name.

I started looking on t'interweb the other night for events around the world on the day I was born... Haven't found anything remotely interesting yet, so might have to just find out about the day/ year, rather than the actual date I was born. The only thing I already know is that I share the same birthday as Rowan Atkinson AKA Mr Bean- kind of figures really, perhaps it's a Capricorn trait? I spend a lot of time hiding my Bean-ness, Claude has definitely drawn the short straw with the genetics as she is a bit Beanlike too. Ooohhh, perhaps Doodlebean was subconsciously nicknamed as I know deep down that she will also be Beanlike?

   selfie face
      perplexed face

I have contacted the skydive centre to find out booking information. Usually a charity will fund a skydive if you raise a certain amount on their behalf, but that can't happen apparently. I am now trying to figure out the best way to get it booked as a skydive for the heck of it is quite expensive. I'm pretty sure if he could, Dave would pay as long as he got to push me out of the plane. It's funny, well it's not but you know what I mean... Every time I go to write anything or talk about doing my skydive, it makes me have palpitations. I have wanted to do it for a long time, but have not plucked up the courage until now. I'm not really a particularly brave person, so I'm hoping I have an awesome skydiver to help me find the courage to jump. Think it must be a man thing, but Dave isn't usually one to show excitement or proudness, so I'm so pleased that he is my first sponsor on my just giving page.

Had one of those moments of realisation this morning too, while I was planning our run tonight... My nephew Cameron used to love it over Chasewater, I hope he is not only having a good laugh at my expense, but also looking down on me with proudness as I train round Chasewater to help raise money for Children with Cancer UK. Cam's Sunshine Trust was set up by his mum as he wanted his Doctor to raise money to find a cure for other poorly boys and girls.

I am also aware that it is now near the end of January, so I still need to fit in going on a date with Dave, cleaning my car, time to pamper myself and shave my legs, and make a start on watching movies since 1977... Dave needs to go fishing 😂

Trainers smell like arse now

It's lovely having Dave at home, but he doesn't half watch some shit on the telly. I am here earlier than normal, eating my hidden crunchie bar while he's watching some pile of crap, Promethius I think, which I gather is like some crapper version of I'm Sparcrapus! He needs to be actively encouraged to go fishing in the rain with the ducks I think.

It was flipping raining again fust thing - Dave did the school run, so I was a bit of a lazy plodder. Me and Doodlebean chilled out and chatted until we got too hungry, my bed was just so snuggly and warm. I then stared out of the kitchen window while I made a brew, to decide whether or not I fancied looking like a soggy Yorkie bear in the rain? I figured, I still like my smart looking new trainers and I don't want them to smell like arse. I also didn't fancy the feeling of peeling smelly, soggy socks off so I thought I'd try the '7 minute workout'.

I bet you wish you were a fly on the wall in my kitchen, you would have probably laughed your bol**cks off at me. I thought- do I seriously need to get into gym gear for this- nah! I'll just do it in my PJs. Considered carefully which room would be best and settled for the kitchen. There is a solid floor, moved the mat so that there was enough space without causing too much mischief to myself. Got the kitchen step, for the step ups, and used the oven handle for the tricep squat things. I had a quick look to check I knew how to do the exercises properly and got cracking.
I tried my hardest to put some effort into the workout and surprised myself with press ups etc. I was also pretty glad that Lizzie the Yorkie Bear didn't trot in for a drink too- she would have only pegged me over wandering around blindly or she would have licked my face during a press up or something.
     

When Claude got back from school, it had actually stopped raining so we decided to go for our first run together. We decided to run past St Anne's church and over the bridge towards Chasewater, then back round over the other bridge- pretty well organised to plan our route eh? Unfortunately a certain intrigued 12 year old I know had messed with my phone on the way out of the house and I didn't check it, so we had set us off on a 20 minute run non stop. Thankfully I realised, so we had to do another 5 minute brisk walk while we put the right run on. As we started running, we reached the boggiest part of the path and I almost slid on my arse. Talking of arse, my new trainers are now minging and will probably literally smell like arse after all now- I wish I could send you a scratch and sniff of them.
I really enjoyed my run with Claude, I felt Ok and didn't get too out of breath, so must be getting a steady pace which was good.  I also read a comment on my feed earlier from a lady saying she had done her first 1/2 marathon after only 4 months of running, which made me feel much better as my goal is much more in reach now.